I never know what day it is
and I haven’t quite figured out
how to be completely repulsive to the mosquitoes.
The 83 plus bites I have are just now starting to heal.
Quite the welcoming, huh?
The idiosyncrasies of my new home
are becoming more familiar.
I am starting to feel more stabilized.
These days I’m never fully quite clean.
If I am, it’s for 10 minutes or so after bathing.
It’s hot here, I’m always either a little bit moist or drenched with sweat- day and/or night.
My new scent is of coconut oil and sandalwood.
It used to be almond oil and bergamot.
I found a new walking route to get to and from work today.
It’s on the sand instead of the dirt trail that goes through town.
Now I can take turns on which route to take.
Now I have a choice in which path I choose to walk down.
It’s always nice to have a choice isn’t it.
The clouds were out last night, a storm came.
I couldn’t see the stars, although a few were peaking out to say hello.
I will try again tonight.
I am intrigued by the people here.
What a completely different upbringing they’ve had-
a completely different path, way of life, way of being.
They’re walking, just like me.
The river and sea is all they know.
Who knows how and whom they perceive me as.
From corneal view, I’m just a chinita senorita walkin on by.
With tattoos. Colorful ones.
Long dark hair.
At the moment all I can do is give them a smile.
Even when I don’t feel like it.
I owe it to them.
It’s the least I can do.
I’m getting used to the new sounds.
The undertone of the ocean crashing against the shore.
It’s softer over on this side of the land.
Where I was before was raw, unrelenting, unabashed.
Now it’s filtered by way of river mouth.
It’s not so loud and overpowering.
It sounds sweet, gentle, soft.
With the sea, comes a family of four.
I haven’t met all of their animals, but there are at least three.
They like to bark at night when the workers cross the river to go home, the babies like to scream.
Who am I to tell them to stop, to be quiet, to give me my peace.
They’re just doing their thing.
Babies are supposed to scream and wail. That’s how they communicate.
Dogs are supposed to bark and protect their territory.
They’re doing their job.
Who am I to get angry at them for disturbing my silence.
The dawn awakes, the roosters caw,
The donkeys screech, the birds start their call.
Morning comes all at once,
I crawl out of bed and greet the sun.
Buenos Dias Senor Sol.
Now this is coexisting.
What I thought was one is now One.
I’m learning all about this.
In every situation, in every relationship,
In every corner of life-
The lesson is this:
Finding the Oneness.
The time of now is reminiscent to Topanga.
Living in the canyon, desperate for silence and quiet in the midst of the city, in the dome of 18 people.
Transients coming in, out and through.
That’s what living on a commune is like.
Looking back now, I see my mistake in seeking a utopia, seeking the perfect environment to hold me.
Now I know it’s in me- it is me.
I’m the one doing the holding.
Utopia lives in me and I now take it with me wherever I may go.
I saw the owner of the land on my last day in LA.
Tribal Oasis it was called.
It’s funny how life always comes back full circle.
The cycle always completes itself.
It’s nature’s nature.
It’s her way.
It’s beyond our control.
I have two bags with me.
I don’t know how long I’ll be traveling on the sails of the wind.
However long or short I may need to find the answer.
Where do I place myself? Where do I settle and root?
That’s the base line note underneath all this movement.
I’ll figure it out. The answer will come.
I’ve got a couple places in mind, but I’m not giving it too much thought.
I’m here now.
So I’m gonna really be here.
When it’s time to leave I’ll know.
I’ll hear it. I’ll feel it. I’ll get a sign.
Life is like that.