My dreams and reality are now One. Woah. These past few years have been intense. Full of avalanches, drops and falls—I’ve finally reached a state of plateau. There have been moments where I’ve almost threw in the towel. I’ve come home crying, despondent, tired, fed up, annoyed, you know- the whole experience of exerting X amount of energy out while not having X amount of energy being returned back to you. It’s exhausting. My friend told me this would happen. He’s the one who helped me get the tattoo on my arm-the one that wraps around my forearm, it says Maha Shakti. I almost didn’t get it because I couldn’t afford it at the time. He told me to never give up. That ease was on it’s way. A chill spot on the mountain. Whew, finally a moment to catch my breath.
I remember being so broke once that all I could afford to eat was oatmeal. I got through it by telling myself it would make me a better artist, a better yogi, a better teacher, a better healer. I stopped rejecting- the only thing to do was respond. There was a reason why all this was happening. Twice a day for four months straight. Oatmeal. Lessons in reality vs. fantasy was this phase. Sometimes kale and tangerines- Oscar & John would always let me pay them a week later. They were the farmers at the Echo Park farmer’s market that I would frequent on Friday afternoons. It took two months to pay for my harmonium to get fixed. I had to wait almost a year to get it tuned. It took me 3 years to buy an Ipod. My auntie bought me a computer and camera. “You’re going to need this,” she said. I remember a time when I couldn’t even afford going to a yoga class. One of my first teachers in LA, a dear sister and friend- she’d sneak me in through the back so I could take her class without the front desk knowing. Monday nights at 8 it was. Many teachers along my path have given this to me. Both the path of yoga & the path of shamanism. Essentially, it’s the same thing. They’re both paths of liberation. That’s how I know healing is my way- it was given to me. I was granted the opportunity and opening to learn.
I remember not even having a CENT- using my last coin to buy filtered water from down the street. A Korean lady owned the shop- it was 75 cents to fill up a jug. I remember once having to pay it in pennies. One jug lasted me about a week. My other friend used to give me food from her freezer and fill up my bottles with Kangen water pH level 9.5. “You have to nurture and nourish yourself,” she’d say. “if you don’t do it, no one will.” I remember not having enough money to even go to museums- I’d go on free days, rationing out the petroleum in my gas tank for the week. Plan it in advance. I have this friend that used to pay for me a lot. It was always hard for me to receive his generosity. “Let me give this to you,” he’d say. “You give so much to me.” That was my first lesson in receiving. He helped me learn that. The love you take is equal to the love you make- Paul McCartney wrote that song—even the part that Ringo plays.
There are sacrifices one must make if committing to living a life that is truly authentic and one’s own. Or you don’t and accept the conventional model of living. Or you do both- whatever floats your boat. In my case it was a bit, well extremely extreme. I went through phases of solitude, celibacy, being mute, you name it—I did it. Phases are funny when looked back upon aren’t they?
“What do you want to do? What is your dream?” I was asked that the other day. I told them. “You’re doing that right now. You’re living your dream.” Oh yeah. I’ve had this same conversation twice since I’ve been here. Once in English and once in Spanish. Different context, same lesson. Consciousness manifests in such subtle and mysterious ways until we actually see it, doesn’t it? Consciousness is so damn smart. And I mean “see” as in the verb- the action, the active participation in the doing of itself, a conscious seeing of sorts—it’s different from just “looking.”
Here’s my dream and it’s happening.
For the entire world to WAKE UP.
For the entire world to HEAL.
For the entire world to LOVE.
For the entire world to UPLIVE THEIR POTENTIAL.
For the entire world to REALIZE THEIR DREAMS.
For the entire world to LIVE IN TRUTH.
My dream is for us all to UNITE.
For realz. It’s not just some Kumbaya hippie dippie shit.
Harmony IS attainable. It IS here.
We just have to hold it. We just have to see it.
I’m on a mission to heal the Earth.
The Planet and it’s People.
Let’s get our love on and live our dreams.
Let’s realize what this whole being human thing is all about.
“A dream you dream alone is only a dream; a dream you dream together is reality.”
Said by and lived by John Lennon & Yoko Ono.
C’mon guys, I believe in us.
Who’s with me?
XO,
chloë
